The both of Us
Are proud native New Orleanians
Were McMain Mustangs together in high school
Have grandmothers named Ethel
But couldn’t be more different. He’s the analytical introvert. I am the artistic extrovert. Yet on a crisp Saturday in October of 2001, we became united in marriage. We’d meet in high school, date for six years throughout college and be married for four years, before becoming parents. Figuring life out together. Growing up together. It is a relationship built on a solid foundation of friendship. An endearing friendship, that has never wavered and is even stronger today. In 2005 we were gifted the opportunity to become parents. Six minutes after midnight on the twelfth day of March, our beloved “Us” transformed into “We.” Fifteen months later the We would grow even grander, with the addition of our daughter. Us became lost in the glory of We. Baby milestones, yellow poop, sleep schedules and percentile charts would take precedent over Us. We fell head first into our new life without hesitation. That is until we came up for air. As We matured, glimpses of Us would reappear in glinting sparks. We began to long for Us again. And the hierarchy was born. A decision was made to reconnect to Us. Without Us, the maintenance and thriving of We would perish in futility. Us comes first.
We are guardians of our time. Spending an enormous amount of time with our children as We, we are mindful and dogmatic in efforts of continuously nurturing Us. We sneak away after family dinner time; turning the task of taking our dog for his evening potty break into a glorious moment of connectivity. Us time begins promptly after that; bidding our children adieu for the night. After toddlerhood, dating and rediscovery took center stage and has stayed in the forefront. In our efforts we’ve amassed a vitae of memories and experiences through trips and outings designed just us two.
The both of Us
Have aunts named Gail/Gayle
Have a set of twin first cousins born to the Gail/Gayle(s)
Were Bison together at Howard University
Yet, we give and receive our love for each other in different ways. We have different needs and work to fulfill them in ways that are foreign and sometimes uncomfortable for us. Just as human beings need regular check ups, so do relationships. It is in this vein that makes us committed to the health of Us by regularly checking in. We are grateful for our vast circle of support that is inclusive of our loving family, best friends and a counselor who is unbiased and supportive of us both individually and as a couple. There is no shame in the need for help and we have taken full advantage of these options in the name of Us.
The both of Us
Have best friends that share a birthday
Are born and bred Saints fans
Love God
God gave us His best in each other. Keeping Us whole is but a small way to honor Him. In Him we’ve found each other, built a life that our families can be proud and given each other the greatest gifts in our children. We serve as their first and best examples of partnership. Eventually the We will take different shape, as our children spread their wings and leave the nest. And We will be left to Us once more. We love them tremendously. And one of the most loving deeds We could make as their parents is to preserve Us; loving each other intentionally and within sight. It honors them. It honors each other. It honors God. But just like God gives, God can take away. Whether it is due to the fullness of time or circumstance, parting will be inevitable. When we have reached our zenith, I am of the hope that God can see a good work in Us. I am hopeful that our union produces generational wealth in good people. Servants, that are intent on filling the world with their good deeds. Yes, in our home Us comes first. It is through this preservation that the We is sweeter, more whole and more authentic in the end.
